Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
