Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
