You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
