haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
