last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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