I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
