So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
