Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
