Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he laminated a picture of his dick.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Floor bacon is actually really good
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
