im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
