You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
