I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
