he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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