To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
