That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
When are your genitals available?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I pour the whiskey from now on
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
