ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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