From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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