My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
