You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
