My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize