sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
