Did you just see the Batmobile???
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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