The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
