roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
