these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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