White coat. Heels.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
