Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
