best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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