You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
