I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
im having a threesome with these popsicles
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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