I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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