Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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