another moral hangover. fuck.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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