the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
