Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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