You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
