i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
