This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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