That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
