My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
If that was your dad, he is hot
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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