Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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