Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
