Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize