This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
