Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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