Its about making memories worth repressing
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize