Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
