Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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