What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
