ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
