ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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