I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
