I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
