somebody snuck up and got me drunk
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize