..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
