So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
