Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
