Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
