i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
