dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
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He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
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I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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