Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
