i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize