you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
