Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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