It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
