Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
