I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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